By Elizabeth Trinder, Julia Feast, David Howe
The booklet describes the studies that individuals have had while tracing their delivery mom and dad, in addition to delivering sensible recommendation on easy methods to pass approximately looking and what to anticipate emotionally. each one part has an recommendation field which summarizes key issues, notes matters to pay specific awareness to, or bargains draft letters that readers can adapt for his or her personal wishes. The appendix comprises precious addresses and weblinks, and contains checklists for looking and for the reunion. Chapters contain reunion with start fathers and start siblings, in addition to with beginning moms, the connection with the adoptive kin and working with reunions that holiday down.
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Extra info for The Adoption Reunion Handbook
Example text
Meeting a birth relative can be a daunting business and, as we shall see in later chapters, is very likely to have a major impact on the adopted person, the birth relatives and adoptive parents. The main reasons given for not searching by most of the ‘information only’ people in the research were based on a perception that it was the best way to protect the people involved, perhaps to protect themselves from rejection or a potentially difficult relationship, a desire not to disrupt the lives of the birth parents or not to hurt the adoptive parents.
ADVICE BOX! ADVICE BOX! ADVICE BOX! ADVICE BOX! ADVICE BOX! Where and how to meet ᭹ There’s no ideal venue that will suit everyone. A lot will depend on how well you’ve got to know each other and your initial reactions to each other. qxd 6/19/04 3:32 PM Page 39 REUNIONS WITH BIRTH MOTHERS ❊ 39 however, it may feel too public for some people as it offers limited privacy. ᭹ A good meeting place could be one or other’s home as this will offer more privacy. However, some people might feel less comfortable on someone else’s ‘territory’.
Twenty-six per cent of people found the first reunion meeting an intense, emotional experience in which they felt an ‘instant connection’ to someone who felt like ‘mum’. Harry, who we met above, had a very fast reunion with his birth mother and explains: “ She had one photograph of me in her arms in the mother and baby home. That’s all they were allowed. The idea was to stop bonding. But I was so much like her. Without having met her at all, everything – mannerisms, the way I move my hands, the way I talk, every single thing.