By Michael Hollander
Winner--American magazine of Nursing booklet of the yr Award
Read Online or Download Helping Teens Who Cut: Understanding and Ending Self-Injury PDF
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Extra resources for Helping Teens Who Cut: Understanding and Ending Self-Injury
Example text
The kind of thinking that keeps negative feelings going is usually spiced with judgments about others or negative opinions about ourselves: a judgment about how unfair the situation is, or a feeling that there’s something wrong with us for having the feeling in the first place, or that if I were a better person, I wouldn’t feel this way. 40 U NDE R S T A N D I N G S E L F- I N J U R Y For example, if your boss tries to blame you for something that wasn’t your fault, in all likelihood you will experience some degree of anger.
People who are not emotionally vulnerable often just can’t understand those who are (and vice versa). Not only is it hard to understand why they seem to “overreact” all the time, but their emotional dysregulation can be manifested in so many ways that it’s not obvious that it’s the central problem behind most self-injurious behavior. For example, the night before midterm exams your son comes home from school and begins to play video games. ” After the second hour you go into his room and try to talk to him, at which point he tells you that he can’t study and he’s going to fail anyway.
You can change the duration and intensity of these feelings by, first, acknowledging what you feel; second, deciding that you no longer want to feel it; and third, doing exactly the opposite of what the emotion is prompting you to do. If you’re feeling blue and your whole being is saying “Get into bed and pull the covers up,” you would instead throw yourself into some kind of physical activity. Maureen, a 15-year-old DBT patient, paged me in crisis. “I can’t get out of bed. I am just too depressed, I have no energy, and I can’t go see my cousins.