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Satisfaction What do you require to feel sexually and emotionally satisfied? Must you ejaculate? Should every sexual encounter be equally satisfying? Why is a poor sexual experience distressing for you? Do you think that “mercy sex” (only pleasing your partner) is okay? Complete the sentence, “I am wonderfully sexually satisfied when . ” Even among well-functioning, satisfied married couples, half or fewer of their experiences are equally satisfying to both partners. In fact, if the couple has one or two experiences a month of moviequality sex, they can count themselves as very fortunate.

Rather, he was deeply perplexed (C) at his performance “failure” (B) and feared disappointing Sherry (E). Yet his actions (B) after ejaculating quickly appeared (C) selfish to Sherry. Here is an outline of what was happening. With fast ejaculation (B), Alex appeared to Sherry (C) to be sexually satisfied by his orgasm (B), but he typically stopped pleasuring (B) Sherry (“he rolls over and goes to sleep”). Alex felt frustrated with himself (E), focused on his failure (C), apologized (B) to Sherry for PE, and stopped lovemaking, became quiet or withdrawn, or even left their bed (B).

Feelings influence the thoughts we have and the actions we take. Emotions can be positive or negative depending on how you subjectively experience them and how they influence your behavior. Sherry and Alex’s Story To illustrate this model, consider Alex and Sherry’s experience of PE. Be aware of their thoughts, actions, and feelings. To help you identify these, we will label cognitions as (C), behaviors as (B), and emotions as (E). You may find some features similar to your own experience. Alex’s chronic PE led Sherry to perceive (C) him as selfish and rejecting of her desires, and Sherry felt dismissed (E).